The Frustrated Farmwife from Bullish: When Your Male Partner is Not Exactly Helping Your Career took Jen’s advice with great results:
First of all – this is me! A dear friend sent me the link saying “I think this is you – IT’S LIKE KNOWING A MOVIE STAR” and I have to say, I’ve never been so pleased to be made an example of!
Jen’s advice was fantastic. I’ve been out of town on business for several weeks, so it may be that things are difficult again once I get home, but before I had left, we had a talk and things improved greatly.
My husband has a ridiculously narrow skill set – it’s one that has served him well, but when we moved to a tiny little town, it became one that was useless. And I think that really took a toll on him when we first got out there. He felt like he was all at sea. He may not be ambitious, but his work is very important to him. So we went out to a nice whiskey bar in the next town over one night, had a few drinks, and I laid it out for him. The details are probably only interesting to me, but when I expressed concern not just for my work, but for him, he said he was worried about all the same things.
After that, things were a bit different. He started helping around the farm to keep occupied during the day, to give me a bit of peace and quiet. And I’m impressed! I knew he was handy, but there he was, fixing ATVs, replacing his mother’s water heater, laying new flooring for her, taking care of the cattle, fixing fence lines… and it was good for him.
I’ve been out of town for a while now (going back on Thanksgiving, thank heavens), and of course we’ve been talking all the time. He’s started teaching himself JavaScript. While that may not directly translate to him broadening his career opportunities, it’s a new skill, something to learn, and something to give him satisfaction.
So, hooray, Jen! Your advice was fantastic, helped me put into perspective what I wanted to say, and even better than dealing with it without starting an argument, spurred me to deal with it, period. I’ll be tipping one back for you and all the gentlewomen out there tonight.
Another bullicorn helped – all in a day’s work for GetBullish. Celebratory whiskey for all!
